Having a hard time with the boy lately

I don't know if it's because of his dad being in the hospital on life support, or autism related issues, or just Adam being Adam, but the past couple of weeks have been horrible. I just can't get a break from him and he won't even go to sleep at night anymore. I need a nap.

Adam: I don't know why I cried. It was like I was in a movie for a few minutes.

Me: I want you to clean up your room, please. Adam: What's in it for me?

I told Adam to tell you thanks for dinner and he asked if you paid and I said yes, I have the card and he said "smart plan, twisted, but smart" (Ainsley)

Adam: It's never too late for grape juice!

Adam: I definitely know you do not like Transformers.

Adam: Whatever you do, take me where you go, unless I can't go with you.

Adam: Your privacy is not my privacy. Me: Really? Adam: Yeah. Me: What does that even mean? Adam: I don't know, you'll know in a few minutes.

Adam: I like disturbing you!

Adam: Maybe on Saturday I'll leave you alone the rest of the day... maybe.... not sure...

Adam: I got monkey fever!

Ainsley: The wasp isn't going to get you and if it did, you're not going to die. Adam: Yeah, but I'd cry uncontrollably.

Adam: Are we...? Me: Don't ask me again. Adam: Can we still go to McDonald's?

Adam: What's for supper? Me: Cicada stew. Adam: I think I'll have McDonald's.

Adam: Can we have McDonald's for supper? Me: Quit asking me that. Adam: Well, will you answer with a "yes"?

Adam: If Grandma's home today, we could ask her to give us some lunch.

Adam: what is this, hippie music?

Me: Stop squeaking. Adam: It's not squeaking, it's a farting sound.

Me: Turn off the tv and go to bed. Adam: Can't you say something nicer?

Adam: Do you know what I'm famous for? Me: Being a pain in the butt. Adam: I'm the best pain in the butt there is!

A little bribery goes a long way

I am sitting here in a psychiatric office waiting room, while Adam is in the next room undergoing an evaluation. I heard the beginning of a meltdown, and it wasn't long before the evaluator came out and said he was DONE. I went back and told him that if he would get through this (long and boring) test, we would go out to eat and then to Walmart. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Me: Stop doing that. It makes me want to strangle you. Adam: Enough with the trash talk already.

Me: I'm just getting here. Adam: What are you, a turtle?