Adam: If you're still alive when I'm 29, I'll come visit you. 

Adam: Is my plumber cracking? 

Me: I know all about kids making up stuff. Adam: Except for me, sometimes I tell the truth.

Adam: It's a good thing my nose is stopped up. Me: Why? Adam: I farted. 

Adam: I don't have dreams... I have nightmares. 

Adam: When I'm 22, will I have to shop for you? I can buy you meat products. 

Me: Adam, are you being a pain? Adam: No, I'm being a veterinarian!.... Of course I'm being a pain! 

Adam: When were computers invented? Me: I'm not sure, why? Adam: Whenever they did it, they did a pretty good job.

Adam: "I might be a teenager by 2019." <blink, blink>

Adam: What's a bartender? Me: Someone who pours drinks. Adam: Can I have a drink? Am I a bartender? 

Talking to Joe the Plumber about Buzz Lightyear

Me: I'm so DONE with you! Adam: And the day has just started.

Adam: Flowers are gonna be..... oh, wait, that's supposed to be a surprise. 

Me: You have cooties and you stink. Adam: The stink part is correct.

Adam: My eyes almost throwed up when I looked at her (Ainsley)

Me: Adam, what's that all over the floor? Adam: I bet you're wondering, right? 

Adam: I'm full of surprises, ain't I? 

Adam: You know what's weirder and grosser than Ainsley and me? Roasting pickles! 

Adam: I would be really annoying if.... wait, I AM really annoying! 

Adam: "I think I took a drink of funny sauce." 

Adam: "I will jump til my eyes fall out."

Adam: Can we watch Underdog tomorrow? Me: If you clean up your toys, I might watch it with you. Adam: I guess I have to watch it by myself.