Adam: Are we doing anything for Ainsley Elizabeth Hulshof's birthday this weekend ? Me: I think she's going to Martin. Adam: That's more like a gift for us.

Adam: One thing I like to do in the mornings is watch My Little Pony. Don't judge me.

Adam: One day kangaroos are going to take over the world.

Adam: Well, there's another burglary. Me: Where? Adam: They say one happens every 15 seconds..... there's another one.