Me: You need to clean up after yourself. Adam: I'll start when I'm 16. Me: If you don't start now, you won't make it to 16.

Me: What are you doing? Adam: Apparently, wasting time.

Adam: 5 SECOND RULE! Ok, I know it's been updated to 3 seconds. It's a 2 second difference.

Adam: I hate you. Me: Good. That means I'm doing my job. Adam: No, it means you're fired. Me: Does that mean you're moving out tonight?

Adam: Will you turn on the big light? Me: Why can't you? Adam: I can't reach it. Me: You just need to learn to be more... Adam: Tall? Me: Well, I was thinking... creative... innovative... resourceful... but yeah, that works.

Me: An autistic girl is competing for Miss America. Do you know what that means? Autistic people can be anything they want to be. You, too, could be Miss America. Adam: That would be stupid.

Me: You need to take a bath tonight. Adam: WHY?? I took one a few days ago!