Adam: If Grandma's home today, we could ask her to give us some lunch.

Adam: what is this, hippie music?

Me: Stop squeaking. Adam: It's not squeaking, it's a farting sound.

Me: Turn off the tv and go to bed. Adam: Can't you say something nicer?

Adam: Do you know what I'm famous for? Me: Being a pain in the butt. Adam: I'm the best pain in the butt there is!

A little bribery goes a long way

I am sitting here in a psychiatric office waiting room, while Adam is in the next room undergoing an evaluation. I heard the beginning of a meltdown, and it wasn't long before the evaluator came out and said he was DONE. I went back and told him that if he would get through this (long and boring) test, we would go out to eat and then to Walmart. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!