Adam: Mom, you're embarrassing me.

Adam: When are you going to feed Dodger? Me: Soon. Adam: He's starving! In dog years, it's been 5 hours!

Adam: Are you tired? Me: Yes. Adam: Of what, me?

Adam: Sometimes I think I'm speaking a language I don't know. 

Adam: Teddy is kneading on my private spot. It feeeels gooooood. <giggle> 

Adam: This is the time I wish I had a brother, cause Teddy won't play with me cause he's a cat. 

Adam: "I don't know and I don't care is your catch phrase?"

Adam: Should we turn off the fireplace tonight? Me: Uh, why? Adam: Fat man? Sneaking in to give us presents? Sheesh!

Adam: We're going to get up at 5am on Saturday, right?

Adam: Do you text? Me: Yes, I do. Adam: That's weird. 

Adam: Why don't cats like blanket? Well, they like them, they just don't like them on their heads.

Bobby: Why do you like those Transformers so much? Adam: Autism. 

Adam: I'm going to move away, far away from Ainsley.

Adam: Daddy bought some gummies yesterday but he wouldn't let me have them yet. Me: That's between you and him. I'm not getting involved. Adam: Just get involved.

Me: WhatEVERRRRR! Adam: You sound just like Ainsley. 

Adam: My private spot hurts. Me: Why? Adam: I've been playing with it. 

Adam: I hate you. Me: Good, that means I'm doing my job. Adam: I love you.

Adam: This firefighter has a buff chest. I think girls might be attracted to him. 

Adam: I have a question. Me: I have an answer. Adam: What? Me: No. 

Adam: I miss Ainsley. 

Adam: Rodeo? That's a stupid name for a car. 

Adam: I'm just here for the candy.

Adam: That cloud looks like an alligator fighting an old man in the shower. 

Me: It's almost time to go and you're not even dressed. Adam: Is that a problem? 

Adam: What kind of crazy shows did they have back then? 

Adam: Mistletoe? Is that what that is? Me: Yes, do you know what that's for? Adam: Kissing.... but I hope I don't end up with Mackenzie under there... why do they call it mistle... that sounds like a dangerous weapon... I guess it is.

Adam: Do you still have the Santa cup? Me: What Santa cup? Adam: The one with Santa on it. 

Adam: It didn't break, ok? Ok? Ok? Ok?

Adam: MAKE ME LUNCH! Me: It's not lunchtime yet. Adam: Fine! I'll make my own in the oven. Me: Ok. Adam: I don't know how to cook.

Ainsley: Some of these players have butts. Adam: They all have butts. 

Adam: I was born in Stupidland! 

Adam: When I get older, I will adopt some kids... or how else do you get some kids? Oh, you can get married and get her to have some. 

Adam: when I am older, you know what I might start my day with? Me: What? Adam: A cup of coffee.

Adam: What's wrong with that bus? There must be a scientific explanation! 

Me: ARGH! You drive me nuts, boy, NUTS!! Adam: Bwahahahahaaa, say that again! Me: Why do you want me to yell at you? Adam: Cause it was funny this time. 

Adam: When I grow up, I want to be a popsicle. Me: You want to be a popsicle?! Adam: What I meant to say was, I want to be a movie star.

Adam: Have you ever heard of Thinkway Toys? Me: No. Adam: I haven't heard of it either.

Adam: why do I have to have such an obnoxious sister? 

Adam: I have a good life. 

Adam: I'll be glad when this election stuff is over, so we can stop worrying about who is going to steal all the money. 

Adam: Sometimes I don't think Santa exists. Me: Why? Adam: Sometimes we get cheap stuff that only you would get. 

Adam: What's that smell? Me: You. Adam: No, I mean it smells good. 

Adam: You're going to have to re-potty train me. I stand up to pee. 

Adam: What's for supper? Me: Lasagna. Adam: I hope Garfield doesn't show up. 

Adam, after waking up from a 2 hour nap : I was NOT asleep! 

Adam: Why were those guys looking for chili in that mine? 

Adam: Can I buy a convertible when I get older? Me: Yeah, will you let me drive it? Adam: Sure, if you're not dead by then. 

Adam: I'm almost dressed, I just don't have any pants on. 

Adam (holding packet of taco seasoning mix) : "How do you make tacos out of THIS? 

"I pledge all agents, to the flag, of the United States of America..." ~Adam 

Me: I'm gonna sell you to the gypsies. Adam: I need to bring my toys.... and diapers. Me: Diapers?! Adam: Yeah, in case someone has a baby... or do gypsies lay eggs?

Adam: If you're still alive when I'm 29, I'll come visit you. 

Adam: Is my plumber cracking? 

Me: I know all about kids making up stuff. Adam: Except for me, sometimes I tell the truth.

Adam: It's a good thing my nose is stopped up. Me: Why? Adam: I farted. 

Adam: I don't have dreams... I have nightmares. 

Adam: When I'm 22, will I have to shop for you? I can buy you meat products. 

Me: Adam, are you being a pain? Adam: No, I'm being a veterinarian!.... Of course I'm being a pain! 

Adam: When were computers invented? Me: I'm not sure, why? Adam: Whenever they did it, they did a pretty good job.

Adam: "I might be a teenager by 2019." <blink, blink>

Adam: What's a bartender? Me: Someone who pours drinks. Adam: Can I have a drink? Am I a bartender? 

Talking to Joe the Plumber about Buzz Lightyear

Me: I'm so DONE with you! Adam: And the day has just started.

Adam: Flowers are gonna be..... oh, wait, that's supposed to be a surprise. 

Me: You have cooties and you stink. Adam: The stink part is correct.

Adam: My eyes almost throwed up when I looked at her (Ainsley)

Me: Adam, what's that all over the floor? Adam: I bet you're wondering, right? 

Adam: I'm full of surprises, ain't I? 

Adam: You know what's weirder and grosser than Ainsley and me? Roasting pickles! 

Adam: I would be really annoying if.... wait, I AM really annoying! 

Adam: "I think I took a drink of funny sauce." 

Adam: "I will jump til my eyes fall out."

Adam: Can we watch Underdog tomorrow? Me: If you clean up your toys, I might watch it with you. Adam: I guess I have to watch it by myself.